"Our Father who is Heaven, HALLOWED BY THY NAME." Matthew 6:9
"What a day it has been! Honestly, it didn't seem like much of a day at all, right up until the time I spent with my brothers Lee and Jeremy. It is just simply profound to me when men can get together and really just be completely vulnerable with one another. Somehow, I feel that was somewhat the spirit of the early church. Honesty and brokenness and humility leading out into deep, rich relationships, being known and knowing. It is becoming so clear to me how God has chosen the men that I walk with to encourage, convict, equip, empower and how the Holy Spirit has really used them in my molding and shaping. It is such a joy to know that the men I surround myself with are serious about pressing deeply into Christ and are serious about their sanctification. God mightily uses community to empower us to know Him, serve Him, and become like Him. I really pray that I will be found more faithful to carry the burdens of my brothers and sisters and truly stand in the gap with them. I honestly desire to be more intentional about praying for them, because in the end, I am not the answer to their struggles, nor do I have all the answers. But the Father is, and He does.
It became clear to me tonight that my own laziness of spirit is one of the biggest reasons that I still fall into old patterns of sin and still stay chained in old junk. And I also see how the Holy Spirit is the key, the empowerment that I need to overcome sin. No system of modifying behavior or gritting my teeth or clinching of my fists will ever release from the strongholds of sin and bondage. I do not need more personal grit or strength, but I need more Jesus, I need more empowering grace to defeat sin. Paul says in Romans 8:13, to "put to death the deeds of the flesh", but the key to this comes in the beginning of verse 13, "but if BY THE SPIRIT". More Holy Spirit means more empowering grace, which means more murder of the deeds of the flesh. It is just so much easier to submit to the promptings of sin and to satisfy the desires of the flesh, but it never fails to leave me unsatisfied. I am so sick of being lazy and being a slave to my sin and to my past. The only way to "put to death the deeds of the flesh" is to know my enemy and his tactics and to call them out, not with my own authority or power, but by the authority of the King and by the power that raised Him from the dead. Make war, O wounded soldier.
Over the last few days, I have realized where some of the problems that never cease to surface in relationships have come from and why they still remain. One thing is that I am not completely, 100% content in Christ, even though I claim to be. I know that I am far more satisfied and content in Him than I used to be, but nevertheless not completely. I thank God from the depths of my soul that He is relentless in pursuing me, not just on the surface, but He is after my heart, that is His primary concern. If He is about His glory and He receives that glory through hearts fully satisfied in Him, than I must assume that He is furiously serious about the state of my heart. Thank God that He is not lazy when I am, He is long-suffering and patient, yet steadfast and serious. The spirit that is truly content in Christ is one that treasures Him above all things, so that no matter what comes, nothing can shake that foundation. This is the one who knows God as this eternal-dimensional gem that can be turned and twisted and flipped inside out and never ends in giving new joy and peace and delight in the revealing of His depths. What happens when God is most treasured above all things is everything else becomes insignificant, not in a way that that makes me unconcerned about the vitality and enjoyment of life, but in a way where ALL vitality and enjoyment of life comes from God and is found in Him. So, if I lose my job, I know that my Daddy in heaven knows that I will need another one to live, and He will provide, and that while I wait, my joy is steadfast because I am hidden in Christ. Everything else in life becomes so insignificant and menial when my eternal purpose becomes the reality I live in. I am an eternal being, the things of here and now, the temporary things are merely stepping stones into eternity. Therefore, everything I am forced to walk through is only for my sanctification, preparing me for eternity, it's all for my future glory and purpose.
His glory, my joy.
I feel that I might have rambled a bit tonight, but it just has been one of those days.
Father, seal these revelations in my heart and let not my flesh erase them, but my spirit respond with action, grace-empowered action. My utmost desire is to fall more madly in love with You and to learn to treasure You above all things.
Your glory, my joy...
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